the nature of love online

I've been exchanging a series of fascinating emails with an author in Nigeria who contacted me after reading one of my articles about overcoming rejection. His niche is educating folks about the international scams being perpetuated upon unsuspecting online daters who believe they have fallen in love with someone from another country. Some kind of crisis happens and their beloved suddenly needs an infusion of cash, and before they know what hit their open hearts and wallets, they have lost thousands of dollars to a devastating and deliberately organized scheme. (his site is www.elovedeceptions.com)

He and I have been discussing what makes people so vulnerable to this scam. Here is an excerpt of my response to his question asking what I think the problem is with love online:
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the problem with love? there seems to be a presuppposition in the question
that I can't agree with. Love is just love. No problem there. but
attachment, need fulfillment, escape from loneliness, and other things that
masquerade as love, well, those might be problems for some, if they get them
confused with love.

I don't know about having trouble finding love in the real world. I
experience love all over the place ... under every rock it seems. If we
look at love as internal, as the lens through which we interact with the
world, then the problem is not out there. it's inside. so many don't know
how to connect with love on their own. not that I do it perfectly either, but at least I am aware of that and know to focus my attention on that instead of trying to get anyone else to do it for me. on my good days anyhow!!!

I think the popularity of online relationships has a lot to do with
projection. when you don't see someone in person, you can easily fill in
all the mysteries with your own ideals. and then it seems as though all of
your needs are met, and of course that feels great. like the words to that
song ... imaginary lovers never let you down.

what people are seeking is that feeling of being connected ... and they
think it is connection to another person, but really it is connection to
Love, the source of all consciousness.

so when they fall in love, they connect with their own hearts, and it feels great. I think maybe the best we can hope for in relationship is to consciously experience our individual connnections to Love together: my presence encourages you to connect with your heart, and yours encourages me to connect with mine, and then we can play together by creating on that mutual playground.

but lots of people don't ever realize that it's not the other person who is doing it for them. so when the Other goes away, in their grief or sadness or blame or resentment or whatever, they lose their connection with their own hearts, but think it is because of the absence of Other. and it's not.
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I'm grateful to Alan for giving me the opportunity to articulate this theory in this way. and I am curious to hear your thoughts on it as well ....