eatin'

oh, gosh, I forgot I even told you about doing that cleanse. if you care, here's an update:

I went 21 days eating only raw foods. I have no idea why I was finally successful at doing this, after trying for at least 20 years and not making it past about 3 days. Maybe it was EFT. (www.emofree.com) I really wish I knew what made this possible, so I could offer an explanation that might be helpful for others. But nope. Oh well.

In any case, it's been interesting. Around day 5, it no longer took any effort to refuse sugar or whatever was circulating around me. I was completely enthralled with the taste of an apple or a strawberry, and simply did not want anything else.

I had decided that 21 days would be enough time to clear out any addictive or compulsive eating habits, and that after that I would just navigate by taste. So on day 22, when I could have eaten anything, guess what I wanted? The same stuff I'd been eating for 3 weeks -- fruit, salad, raw nuts and cheese, and almond butter. I found that pretty interesting.

So now I have no idea how long it's been, and I don't really care. I think it's just become a new habit now - or even better, simply a lifestyle.

When I want almond butter, I crave it on celery or apples, not bread. I have had almost no grain for I guess a month or so, and I don't miss it at all. When I was in FL I tried a piece of sourdough bread, and within moments I could feel an unpleasant tingling in my body - what I've come to think could be the sensation of a blood sugar surge. Not a big deal, but I did note that the taste of the bread was not worth it.

My body is changing a bit - I don't have a scale so I don't know the numbers, but I feel things sort of rearranging themselves on me. My clothes fit differently. But I think I'm still about the same size as before. My energy levels and mental clarity are good. I am sleeping well and getting at least 20 minutes of exercise in each day, plus stretching before bed. I feel fantastic.

Without food as a device to distract myself from feelings, some emotions have surfaced that were a bit surprising to me. I have learned how to just be present with them without avoiding them, and it's amazing how they just move on through.

I am never hungry. I eat whatever I want whenever I want. Yesterday I tried a homemade french fry. It was okay ... not super fantastic, and not nearly as good as an apple. I didn't want more.

Perhaps for the very first time in my life I can actually hear my body's communication about what it wants. I find that it takes very little to satisfy my appetite-- a few strawberries, a handful of almonds, half an apple. I hypothesize that the hunger I felt before this change was a symptom of filling up on foods that didn't contain many nutrients - I ate plenty but my body kept asking for more in an attempt to get the fuel it needed.

so I guess the experiment continues. For weeks I drank mass quantities of water with lemon and maple syrup. This week all I want is plain water. I dunno why. Guess I don't need to know, either. I'm beginning to just relax into trusting the wisdom of my body. It's a nice feeling.

oh, and you know what else is a nice feeling? I hardly spoke about my experiment to my friends and family, since I figured it was my own deal and not about 'right and wrong' but about learning my own body's needs. I continued to cook meals for my family during my experiment just as I had before. As time goes on, they are now asking to have what I'm having instead of what they would normally eat! So my kids are eating tons more fruit and salads. That's a fringe benefit I did not anticipate. gotta love the power of a quiet example ...

that's why

I just got back from a lovely family reunion on the Gulf Beaches of Florida.
I still feel as relaxed as jello ... the sun, the sand, the good company ... so wonderful.

oh, and I even got shat on by a big ol pelican! rumor has it that's good luck.
LOL. uh huh. hope so. that stuff was tough to get out of my purse.

anyway, when I got home I caught up on my friend debra's blog and found this gem:
***
You are not on earth to make things happen. You are not on earth to spread the love. You are not on earth to make it a better place or to learn acceptance of the things you cannot change. You are not on earth to find your soul mate or your purpose. You are not on earth to put the needs of others before your own. And you are most certainly not on earth to suffer, pay penance, be tested, or judged.

Did I leave anything out?

You are on earth because in your loftiest state of being, perched high above the wonderment, at the pinnacle of your glory, you wondered what it would be like, even fleetingly, to believe in limits.

You sage
-The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones!®
© http://www.tut.com/ ®
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And when you can grasp this from within the illusions, you will also grasp how unlimited you truly are. (And we'll probably never hear the end of it...)
***
here's what I say to that: YEE HAW!!!! I love it.
I struggled for years to make sense of that whole "Life is a school" philosophy. Finally I gave up and decided maybe life was actually the playground!

How would you live if your experience was simply a gift to the Creator, rather than a lesson, a growth opportunity, or a test?

ps: If you like this message, check out www.tut.com for a free subscription to daily love notes from the universe. cool stuff there.

spring cleanse

I'm on day 11 of a personal experiment. I'd been drinking a ton of that cleansing lemonade this spring -- the fresh lemon juice, maple syrup and pinch of cayenne recipe -- and noticed my appetite diminishing greatly. For years now I've been feeling like I've lost touch with with my body's innate wisdom. So on May 1st, I decided the time was right to try a 21 day experiment to learn more about the relationship between my body, mind and food.

I decided to drink lots of my favorite lemonade, eat only raw foods and only in response to real hunger, and exercise at least 20 minutes every day. My intention was to simplify my diet enough to clear out any cravings that were coming from addictions (sugar, in particular!) and then to listen for my body's requests. why 21 days? I dunno. I just like that number. LOL.

It's been very interesting - it took a long time to feel hungry. Plenty of days, all my body requested was one apple or an avocado. Maybe my previously frequent eating was due to the the lower quality of food I was selecting - when I eat nutritionally empty calories, perhaps my body doesn't really register them as meeting its needs, and persists in creating hunger signals in hopes that I'll feed it something useful. I had promised myself that at any point after the first three days, (the point at which I thought addictions would no longer be a major influence on my cravings,) if my body's request truly could not be satisfied with a raw food, I would let go of the experiment and eat whatever my body was asking for.

Yesterday was the first time I needed will power. I got reacquainted with the feeling of strong hunger, and it sort of caught me off guard and unprepared. Mashed potatos were handy and ready to eat, and smelled so yummy. But I've come this far into the experiment, and I wanted to honor my original intention. So instead I ate a chopped salad and a handful of raw cashews and raisins, and promised myself if that did not satisfy me, I'd snarf those mashed potatoes. To my great surprise, it never came to that. The salad was incredibly satisfying.

My sense of smell and taste are extremely heightened - kevin was eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream next to me on the couch, and I could smell the alcohol in the vanilla!! I enjoy the fragrance of so many more flowers and trees out on my walks than ever before.

My energy levels are great, I'm sleeping well, and it feels like I am thinking more clearly for whatever reason - having more insights into my own thought processes in many areas of my life. Maybe there's a purification happening on multiple levels right now.

So we'll see where this ends up. I'm kind of hoping that by the end of 21 days, processed food won't be of much interest to me anymore, because that leaves will power out of the equation. It's sort of happening already - there are so many layers of taste and texture in a sweet crunchy apple, and processed foods don't smell very good to me these days.

At the very least, after 21 days of this I should have some indication of whether there is truly a link between what I eat and how I feel, both physically and emotionally. I've read lots of research that suggests there is, and I'm excited to find out for myself.

***this is simply a recording of my experience - by no means is it a recommendation or endorsement! for some folks, this experiment could be dangerous to their health.***