the consciousness of loving
It is not a past time, event, or relationship you yearn for. It the consciousness you held about it. Return to that consciousness, and you will create new experiences equal to or better than those you left behind.
- Alan Cohen
Excellent timing on this daily quote from Alan Cohen. I've been noticing this very thing lately.
This is the longest I've ever gone without a man in my daily life. I've been in a self-induced hibernation since Kevin and I split up in February. Did my little two day stint on match.com, noticed I felt crappy about it, and haven't put myself 'out there' since. I have enjoyed focusing on selling my house, settling in to my new place, and spending plenty of time with my son before he shipped off to boot camp.
I also wanted to take some time to observe myself as a single person. I had thought that maybe I would miss being loved. And I do, to some degree, but what I miss even more is how wonderful it feels to love. Of course I can and do love the flowers and the rain and the earth and my children and my friends and myself. What I find myself longing for is the deeply satisfying, no holds barred, totally surrendered kind of loving that so far I have only experienced and expressed within an intimate relationship.
So my solo experiment will continue until a man steps forward who wants to expand the exploration with me. In the meantime I'm perfectly fascinated by checking out what it feels like to open up as much to the sun as I would to a lover. Or to enjoy the wind on my skin as if it were a caress, and to walk on the earth as if I am massaging its back.
I think it could be possible to open up my consciousness of loving so widely that it almost doesn't matter if there is any personal receiver. It will be interesting to find out ...
Labels: humans fascinate me, quotes I like, relationship
posted by karen @ 4:55 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
The codependant need for a relationship is a cry for external validation.
Any relationship based on need only drains from the individual and both become less.
Separation is inevitable if the individual is to revive.
To become whole as an individual,
is to become more with another.
We have many soul mates. None complete us. All can make us more.
thanks for writing.
Although I never really got into the whole 'codependent' movement, your comment reminds me of a book I saw many years ago by shel silverstein.
I think it was called The Missing Piece, and if I remember it right it started with a circle that was missing a pie shaped piece and rolled around all crooked and wobbly chanting, "My missing piece, my missing piece, I'm looking for my missing piece."
And I can't remember how it all tied in, but I think there was also two complete circles who connected and formed some kind of cool vehicle together that navigated straight and true because each was whole before they met.
Those are the kinds of couples I know and spend time with. That's the only kind of relationship I can imagine participating in. I'm a big fan of More in all its permutations, including, in some cases, Less. :)
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