rite n rong

Spent about an hour last night fully immersed in Abraham-Hicks quotes on the Sun Angel site, http://sun-angel.com/abraham/index.php. Must say I think the phrase Law of Attraction has been overused these days to the point that it's become cliche, but until I come up with a substitution I like better, I'll use it anyway.

Here's a bit of my surfing journey:

Everything is valid and everything is truthful, because Law of Attraction lets everything be. The question is not whether it's right or wrong, whether their approach is right or wrong, or whether my approach is right or wrong. The question is: Does their approach feel good to me? And if it doesn't, then I choose a different approach.

- Abraham-Hicks


I love this simple explanation of why truth is relative -- why what has indisputably worked for me or for you may not work at all for someone else, and why it doesn't matter anyway.

We each live in our own private universe of beliefs, hopes, dreams, and desires. No one life journey is exactly like another. We didn't start from the same place, and don't necessarily desire to travel the same path to the same "destination." So how can we truly know what is right for someone else? It can be a full time job just figuring out what works for our own selves.

Sorta reminds me of those testimonial pages on various nutritional supplement sites. This magic tea or little pill made me lose 48 lbs in only 5 weeks! And there are lots of dramatic before and after pictures to prove it. It's exciting to me to see people succeed in their endeavors, so I always get a kick out of scrolling through the photos and reading the stories.

It's also exciting to me when those pictures and stories inspire other people to leap over the mental hurdle of thinking it's not possible for them. Makes me wonder if perhaps the magic is even more in the hype than in the product itself. Could it be that to the extent that these ads manage to harness our belief in success, and bring us hope, and convince us others have indeed done what we want to do, some of our mental barriers drop away and we can progress?

As I was writing this, an email newsletter from an essential oil company whose products I love was delivered to my inbox. More testimonials! More inspiration from people who found something that helped them feel better! Woo hoo!

Except I also notice that sometimes, in my zeal to relieve what I perceive as suffering, I eagerly share my experience with someone, forgetting that it's only what has worked for me. I happen to love these oils, and a bunch of other products, and I seem to feel better when I use them. So what? That's nice for me, and may or may not be of any value to you at all!

So I've been playing a bit with this question: how can I respectfully share information based on my personal experience that could possibly be helpful to you without becoming invasive?

I have a few ideas so far. The first one came easy: Wait to share until I am asked. I might be too gregarious and enthusiastic to follow this guideline tho, so I better not rely on that alone! And what if you don't know that I have info to share, so you never ask? The concept of waiting intrigues me, however. Probably because it's so foreign to me!

The second idea was a reaction to the first: Just enjoy whatever I am doing that works for me and shut the frick up. That's actually super appealing to me, and probably not super likely, given my nature. But you never know. More and more these days I find I don't have much to say. (Except, of course, when I am writing, which feels different to me somehow because it's sort of one sided and you can just stop reading anytime, so it feels less like an imposition or something...)

The third option I borrowed from Motivational Interviewing, and it sort of combines the best of the first two while factoring in my personality. Ask permission first. Which might sound like, "Hey, you mentioned having a terrible headache today, and I found this stuff that really helps with my headaches. If you are interested in hearing about it, I'd be happy to share. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you feel better."

That option satisfies me on lots of levels. It's respectful of your process and timetable, does not make any claim that it will work for you, and does not imply that you should feel guilty if you'd rather not hear about it, yet satisfies my desire to contribute to your well being, rather than just standing by helplessly while you are in pain.

I like having options. I think I'll try them like this: Shut the frick up and enjoy doing what works for me, while remaining warm and receptive to requests for help or information. If the request doesn't come, I'll take a few breaths to make sure I am centered and my intention is pure, then I will ask permission to share.

Sounds good. I'm looking forward to experimenting with it. Hey, will you do me a favor? If you notice me getting overzealous with you, please let me know. Sometimes it's hard to catch these things from the inside ...