postcards for parents
Greetings!
If you also receive my postcards from nowhere, then you already know that I'm back at the keyboard cranking out postcards again --- this time in a shorter format that's easier to read on the fly.
Without further ado, here's today's postcard, gleaned from the Parenting with Love and Logic materials by Cline and Fay.
Avoid power struggles by telling your child what YOU are going to do rather than demanding, ordering or yelling at them about what THEY should and shouldn't be doing.
Here's how to invite a power stuggle:
Josh, you pick up those blocks this instant!
Josh, with his blossoming need for autonomy, naturally bristles at being ordered around. He takes a defiant stand by saying NO. You decide to force compliance by using some form of intimidation. He calls your bluff, and next thing you know you've locked horns like rutting rams ... stuck together with no graceful exit for either of you. It's what happens when a parent tries to control his child's body and/or choices.
Thankfully, there is another way:
Josh, if there are any toys still left on the floor when this timer goes off in 5 minutes, I'll be picking them up myself and putting them away on a high shelf in the garage for awhile.
This statement leaves Josh with nothing to argue with, and there's no need for you to attempt intimidation tactics to force compliance. You're okay with whatever he chooses. In fact, if you're like me, you kind of hope he chooses to let you do it, because you wouldn't mind seeing a few less toys around the house! You control your own body and choices. He controls his. Power struggle averted.
Questions? Comments? Yeah, buts? Bring 'em on! I always enjoy hearing from you.
have a great day,
karen
please visit my website at www.karenalonge.com
© 2004 Feel free to forward this postcard.
main menu
return to archives listing
call Karen for a free sample of coaching (303) 661-9204